The hardest most challenging day of my life

So on the 10th of January at 7.50am in PDX airport there was a scene of mayhem of chaos of near insanity but no-one could see it as it was in my head, I was just about to leave the love of my life the reason why I was in America and now my Fiancée. Trying to be strong and not let my emotions lead me I pulled her in tight and hugged her the tightest i could ever remember hugging her, this moment felt like it was forever but no 7.52am and time was creeping ever so closer to boarding time. I couldn't believe it after 18 days of Rachel to go to skype again felt like madness..... why? why should I go back? why should I leave her? As I looked into her eyes to see them overwhelmed with emotion I couldn't hold back anymore, I wept and at this point it felt like someone had overflowed a bathtub and left the taps running full because I was sure that I would not be able to stop. Looking around I see people moving everywhere, needing to get to places urgently... rushing around like theres no tomorrow and there we are in the middle of security hugging wishing for time to stop. 7.55am I kiss Rachel's forehead and say that everything is going to be OK and that we will be together soon knowing that in my mind soon wasn't really soon enough but I had to give her hope.... I needed to give me hope at this point because I felt like everything in the world was against us and we would never see each other again. But still holding her I say we are doing this for so much more than just being together, we are doing this so people can see obedience to a higher cause not arrogance but a humbling cause. Now this seemed crazy to me because the last thing I wanted to admit to her was that it was going to be hard but these words flowed out of my mouth as if i had no control what so ever "He will help us, guide us through the storm" they flowed through my head for ages and in the end of it I said "God has got us" and I repeated it over and over as if I was saying it not just for comfort but to convince Rachel and myself. I kissed her and said my goodbyes still crying as i went through security causing emotions to flow through the officer on duty but I kept walking. My last look to Rachel and my last action was a point to her then to my heart then to the sky, not just to say that God loves us but that she has my heart completely and totally and overall God is in control of everything that we have in our lives.