Nerves....

So this week my older brother John is expecting his first child Maisy. Which will make me a first time uncle and this makes many things but overall excited! It makes me happy to think that he is going to be a dad because I know he will do a really good job. It makes me happy to think Gina and John will be a family. It made me a lot more excited and happy because they got engaged and all of this has happened in the last week.

So nerves... I'm nervous because then it makes me think about what ifs...

Here is a list of things of the what ifs I'm talking about.....

What if I don't make a good dad?
What if I fail so bad it screws up more than I can see?
What if I don't have a family?
What if more what ifs pop into my head?????

See now your reading this and are now either thinking 2 things 1- that these aren't that bad because they happen in every relationship on earth because we are not perfect or 2- your a paranoid freak....

Now I would like to believe that I am not a paranoid freak. But these things are in my head a lot more than a lot of other scenario's that I am currently involved in. This is another point.... I'm am not actually in a situation where these what ifs can take place but I'm still freaking nervous about them all.

How can I possibly be a good father when my experiences of fathers have been all over the scale... And yes it means that I have had very positive experiences but then it means that there has been a lot of let downs and a lot of pain.

Now I look at myself and I think that I will never ever be like that. But how do I know? How do we all know?

Well we don't. Even the best father in the world fails.... Which brings around the question of the "Best father in the world mugs" you can buy at the crappy card shop round the corner. But what we can do is trust and love. Trust that some of our affection and emotion put into the relationships we have with our (past,present and in my case future) families will flow through and we can be happy and proud of the love we have shared.

Hope to see you soon Maisy....

Sorry if I'm a nervous Uncle.