Someone once told me "If somethings worth it, stick to it because if you don't you will regret every second after". I'm sorry to say that I have forgotten who told me that but if you are reading this blog then there you are I still remember what you taught me.
Now whether I believe that is a completely different question.
See what I think is that there are a lot of these scenarios where people will say "Hey you can't quit that, its your best sport" or "Why give that up? You have so much potential"... But overall there are these choices. Choices that I need to make, you need to make, we need to make but make them on our own and for our own reasons.
Whether I make a decision based on my emotions, thoughts and feelings it will be based on what I think. It may be to benefit something like my relationship with Rachel or my family or God but overall I am the one who needs to make it.
Thats where it gets hard. How do you make these choices without letting other peoples opinions dominate your life? Now I am not saying that other peoples opinions aren't important what I am saying is that we all need to weigh up our options and thoughts for our own reasons. Not because its a tradition ran through the family or because it looks good in everyone else's eyes but because we truly want to do it.
These last couple of weeks have been quite challenging for me. Either on a emotional level or on a spiritual level. But still I have to decide to make the choices to change me so that I can live better and for a purpose.
But I have been challenged in my life on loads of different levels, from my own opinions to my jokes to the music I listen to, all the way to DVDs I watch and the games I play.
I know I am not the same person I was 10 years ago. I know I am not the same person as I was 5 years ago. Yet I still get brought back to the past when I make decisions (or attempt to) but I haven't regretted many of them. The decisions I have made that have been key in my life were the decisions where I had to physically pick myself up and move. I don't regret it. I miss it but I don't regret it.
I love my Family, I love my friends and I loved the life I lived in Andover but after a while I had to move on. It was giving up something that I was use to and moving onto something bigger.
It was my choice overall to physically move myself, it was hard, its not gotten much easier but still its a challenge.... It wouldn't be called that if it wasn't it would be called "the easy way" or something.
But the decisions we take in our life affect a lot of other things... kinda like a pebble being thrown into a pond. It sends out ripples and changes everything maybe not a lot but still something has to be left on the edge.
The consequence of me moving away is that I have this distance between my family and when I wake up every morning I don't know how they are doing. I just have to trust that my decisions are not just for me but for my family to.
I got a text from my mum this morning and it read " I love you so much and am so proud of you x " and for me to read that it gives me hope that I am doing this for more than just me. Its something bigger than I could ever explain. But still its something that once you have you can't take your eyes off of.
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