Sometimes when I am feeling down,
I beat myself up....
That may be mentally, telling myself that I am an idiot for not knowing something
Or not giving myself something that I want....
Almost like a scolding, that I don't deserve treats when I have 'failed'....
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I done it when I got back from work this morning....
I beat myself up for not knowing the menu off by heart.....
Something that isn't as important as it sounds....
But still I have told myself that it is and that I am a failure for not knowing it.
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I sometimes believe that I am a failure.
That makes being married tough....
I say things that put me down and Rachel has to somehow work out what is going on during my day to put me in this 'mood' or somehow decipher how to 'pick me up'....
This is something that I am slowly working on.
But I feel that when I am feeling down that I should be ashamed.
That I should just hide and not include myself as the same as everyone else.
But thats not the case.
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The thing is Jesus is better than that.
And He deserves better than that.
Its something that needs to be concreted into my head so I can remember it over and over.
Whenever I say that I am nothing....
Its saying that Jesus died for nothing....
The Bible doesn't say that.....
And I am 100% that Jesus died for me and the rest of the world.
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We can't stand up in front of people pretending to be perfect.
What we can do though is walk our lives knowing that we are saved by grace.
As followers of Jesus, we don't exist to be perfect on this earth.... We don't exist to show off to the world about how good we are.
We exist to show just how good Jesus is.
And when people see us standing with all our faults and brokenness they won't see the 'perfect' people that we are mean't to be but instead they will see people standing, living, breathing whilst saying "I'm a sinner, I am broken, I got it wrong, but His grace is enough for me, Jesus is enough."
Jesus is enough.
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